“Mommy, Can you play with me?!” 

If your child’s love language is quality time, then you are probably asked that same question several times a day like me! While it can be a bit much, making time to play with my daughter every day is a priority. 

And here’s why… 

What we play doesn’t really matter, it’s the state of being present that speaks to her love language. Giving her that time allows her to feel special, cared for, and thought about. Play is also a double-edged sword that allows parents the opportunity to bond with their children while encouraging healthy development. 

Early childhood is a very important time for brain development (9). It’s when a child is more capable of learning. 80% of the brain is developed by age three(1). Children are born with billions of nerve cells called neurons. Connections of the neurons allow the cells to communicate with the brain and their body(9). ​

The number and strength of those connections a brain develops are determined by the child’s environment and experiences(9). Essentially, your child’s brain is built through everything they experience! That’s why it’s so important for us to provide our young children with positive experiences and plenty of learning opportunities. ​What better way to provide those opportunities than through the act of playing with our children! 

 Not only does childhood play stimulate the brain to make connections between nerve cells, but it also encourages cognitive skills, physical abilities, social & literacy skills(1). Play is also a child’s context for learning. While structured learning is important for children, play allows them to practice and reinforce their learning in multiple areas as they play(2,3,4). Play also assists children with self-regulation. Which is an essential skill for school readiness. As children develop this skill they are able to control negative emotions, work through challenging activities, and demonstrate appropriate social skills(7,12). 

Play can reduce stress, encourage children to develop emotionally, and provides a healthy outlet for anxiety(3). Children who play more also develop more empathy, another essential element that advances social skills. Children who develop this skill grow to have a better understanding of other people’s feelings and beliefs(5,6,8).

For children, play is deeply engaging, provides pleasure, & transforms their sense of time and place. Participating in daily play with our children can speak directly to their love language, provide healthy outlets for stress and encourage healthy brain development. 

So, the next time your child asks “Can you play with me”, you can accept their invitation without hesitation. Knowing that you’re not only making memories and building a bond but also setting the foundation for healthy development. 

RESOURCES

1.     Rosenzweig M, Bennett E. Psychobiology of plasticity: effects of training and experience on brain and behavior. Behav Brain Res. 1996;78(1):57-65. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/8793038.

2.     Elardo R, Bradley R, Caldwell BM. The Relation of Infants’ Home Environments to Mental Test Performance from Six to Thirty-Six Months: A Longitudinal Analysis. Child Development. March 1975:71. doi:10.2307/1128835

3.     Pellegrini AD. The relationship between kindergartners’ play and achievement in prereading, language, and writing. Psychol Schs. October 1980:530-535. https://eric.ed.gov/?id=ej236155.

4.     Lewis V, Boucher J, Lupton L, Watson S. Relationships between symbolic play, functional play, verbal and non-verbal ability in young children. Int J Lang Commun Disord. 2000;35(1):117-127. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/10824228.

5.     Mayberry ML, Espelage DL. Associations Among Empathy, Social Competence, & Reactive/Proactive Aggression Subtypes. J Youth Adolescence. July 2006:787-798. doi:10.1007/s10964-006-9113-y

6.     Doyle A-B, Connolly J. Negotiation and enactment in social pretend play: Relations to social acceptance and social cognition. Early Childhood Research Quarterly. September 1989:289-302. doi:10.1016/0885-2006(89)90015-x

7.     Connolly JA, Doyle A-B. Relation of social fantasy play to social competence in preschoolers. Developmental Psychology. 1984:797-806. doi:10.1037/0012-1649.20.5.797 

8.     Youngblade LM, Dunn J. Individual Differences in Young Children’s Pretend Play with Mother and Sibling: Links to Relationships and Understanding of Other People’s Feelings and Beliefs. Child Development. October 1995:1472. doi:10.2307/1131658

9.     https://developingchild.harvard.edu/science/key-concepts/brain-architecture/

10.  https://www.zerotothree.org/early-development/brain-development

11.  https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/childdevelopment/early-brain-development.html

12.  Elena Savina (2014) Does play promote self-regulation in children?, Early Child Development and Care, 184:11, 1692-1705, DOI: 10.1080/03004430.2013.875541