Cry it out. Then Work it out : Developing Healthy Coping skills

Feeling stressed? Overwhelmed? Or like you never have a second to yourself? I think we’ve all been there! As a matter of fact, a lot of us have been there. 

According to The American Institute of stress:

  • 33% of people report feeling extreme stress.

  • 77 % of people experience stress that affects their physical health

  • 73 % of people have stress that impacts their mental health

  • 48 % of people have trouble sleeping because of stress

With the top reported reasons including money, work, family, housing and the list goes on and on (1)! The reality is, life is filled with stressors. From professional to personal, we all experience stress at some point in our lives. 

So, what do you do when you begin to feel overwhelmed?

.⁠ ⁠ *INSERT* coping skills!

Coping skills are techniques used to help you tolerate, minimize, and deal with stressful situations in life (2).

Keep in mind, not all coping skills are good! Unhealthy coping skills tend to feel good at the moment but have long-term negative consequences. They can include drug or alcohol use, overeating, sleeping too much or too little & self-harm, to name a few. Healthy coping skills may not provide instant gratification, but they lead to long-lasting positive outcomes (1).

There are two types of coping skills: problem-focused (3) & emotion-focused (4).⁠

Healthy problem-focused coping skills help you tackle the issue head-on by (for example, 6) ⁠ 

• Creating a to-do list.⁠ 

• Establishing healthy boundaries⁠ 

• Working on better time management⁠ 

• Asking for support⁠ ⁠ 

Healthy emotion-focused coping skills help you deal with your feelings in a healthy way. These strategies may soothe you, temporarily distract, or help you tolerate your distress by (for example, 6)⁠ 

• Cleaning your house ⁠ 

• Coloring⁠ 

• Exercise⁠ 

• Pray⁠ 

• Spending time outside⁠ 

• Self Care (take a bath, paint your nails, do your hair, put on a face mask)⁠ 

• Writing in a journal⁠ ⁠ 

Research tells us that consistently using healthy coping skills to combat stress and life’s disappointments, can encourage resilience and self-efficacy(5). 

If you’re anything like me, a good crying session can help you purge those stressful emotions so you can move on (not the healthiest choice but sometimes it gets the job done). While I am all for crying it out (especially in the shower), sometimes those crying sessions can lead us down a pit of despair that’s hard to climb out of alone.⁠ ⁠Coping skills help you process and deal with life stressors, struggles, and emotions. Healthy coping skills can help you face a situation, take action, and be flexible and persistent in solving problems. 

We should all have an arsenal of coping skills at our fingertips. ⁠ So, the next time you decide to cry it out, ⁠ set a 30-second timer. ⁠ Once it’s done, wipe your eyes⁠ and implement a healthy coping skill that will help you solve the problem and address those emotions head-on!⁠ ⁠ ⁠ ⁠ ⁠ ⁠ ⁠ 

RESOURCES

1.     American Psychological Association. (2015, February 4). Stress in America: Paying with Our Health. https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/stress/2014/stress-report.pdf. 

2.     American Psychological Association. (n.d.). Apa dictionary of psychology. American Psychological Association. https://dictionary.apa.org/problem-focused-coping. 

3.     American Psychological Association. (n.d.). Apa dictionary of psychology. American Psychological Association. https://dictionary.apa.org/emotion-focused-coping. 

4.     Ben-Zur, H. (2009). Coping styles and affect. International Journal of Stress Management, 16(2), 87–101. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0015731

5.     Schäfer, A., Pels, F., & Kleinert, J. (2020). Effects of different coping strategies on the psychological and physiological stress reaction: An experimental study. European Journal of Health Psychology, 27(3), 109–123. https://doi.org/10.1027/2512-8442/a000056

6.     Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2020, November 25). Tips for coping with stress|publications|violence prevention|injury center|cdc. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/about/copingwith-stresstips.html.  ⁠ ⁠ 

Jessica Thomas