Crossroads

We’ve all been there. Standing in the midst of two points in our lives. Looking for guidance on which way to go. 

A crossroad

I stood in the middle of one of the biggest crossroads of my life in November 2004. Faced with an unplanned pregnancy and the fear of doing it alone, I made the decision to end my pregnancy. I traded the fear of raising a child alone with pain, a broken heart, and grief that consumed me for years. It was the worst decision I ever made in my life. However, what started as a horrible decision, ended up being a beautiful lesson on how God used my pain and my tears to mold me into the woman I am today. 

Most importantly, the mother I am today.

When I was pregnant with my oldest child, Satan told me I was not worthy of being a mother. Every day of my pregnancy I struggled. He constantly told me I didn’t deserve another chance. Reminding me of the life I destroyed…but God. God will take our mistakes and use them as lessons and stepping-stones. When I look at my children, I see God’s grace. I see his ability to forgive, restore, and bless beyond our wildest dreams. 

My child would have been 15 years old by now. I still think about who they would have been & how different my life would be. I also think about how beautiful forgiveness is. How freeing it can be. Once I received His forgiveness and forgave myself, I began to heal from something that would have ultimately killed me. 

This wasn’t the only time I’ve stood in the middle of life’s crossroads, having to make life changing decions. What’s different now? my faith. I have lived with the heartbreak of making decisions without him. I have lived with the joy and peace of making decisions with him. It’s not always the easiest road to take but I choose joy and peace evertime.

Whatever mistakes, regret, or pain that you’ve held onto, I pray you find healing to move forward and live the life God intended for you to live