Nurturing Independence: How chores positively impact our children’s future
Research suggests that children who do chores may exhibit higher self-esteem, are more responsible, and be better equipped to deal with frustration, adversity, and delayed gratification. Research also suggests that involving children in household tasks at an early age can have a positive impact later in life.
It’s believed to be one of the best predictors of young adult's success in their mid-20s
Why are chores important?
How can making the bed, taking out the trash, and wiping their own pee off the toilet help them gain important life skills that help them throughout their lives?!
Well, it’s pretty simple. As children complete these tasks, they experience feelings of competence. Allowing them to feel capable of doing things on their own. Chores teach them important family dynamics. Helping them to understand the importance of everyone’s role in the home. It allows a child to feel needed within their family unit. Holding them accountable for their chores increases their sense of responsibility and teaches them independence. Chores can create a work ethic in our children that will help build the character that we want them to have. It helps eliminate entitlement and can give our children feelings of importance. Not to mention, having low expectations of our children’s abilities and not teaching them everyday life skills can limit their ability to function at age-appropriate levels.
Bottom line, in order to help your children be successful, capable, independent adults they have to learn life skills. Chores are the greatest way to teach them those important skills.
Now before you go creating a long list of things to add to your child’s chore chart, here are a few things to consider. Remember that every child matures at a different pace. Think about your child’s skills and stage of development, then adjust the chores you select for them accordingly. No child should do all of the chores listed below every day.
should I give my child an allowance?
Chores are beneficial in two ways: They help contribute to the household and teach valuable life skills. Remember the importance of recognizing the two roles they play. Assigning chores with the benefit of an allowance gives our children the opportunity to learn how to earn money, the feelings of satisfaction of having their own money to spend and how to handle money.
Prior to starting an allowance, discuss the importance of handling money. Make sure they learn the importance of tithing, saving, and budgeting. You can never start too soon by teaching your child how to earn and manage money. If you’re thinking about giving your children a chore-based allowance, here are a few tips to get you started!
1. Determine a set amount & a pay date! – A good rule of thumb is to let them make their age. However, I determined their amount based on what they do & how often they are required to do them.
2. Be clear on what they are paid for and what they are not! – Remember, some chores help contribute to the household and some are meant to develop life skills. It’s up to you to determine which ones are tied to your child’s allowance. I don’t have a list of everything my kids get paid for however, they do understand that not all chores contribute to their allowance. Some things are simply required as part of their family role!
3. Set up a bank account! There’s no better feeling than when your check hits your account! Handling a debit card is serious business! It comes with the responsibility of balancing your checkbook & the art of buying only what you can afford. It’s been a great learning experience for our teens. We set up a bank account that ties to ours. Allowing us to set spending limits & decline charges that would essentially place him into overdraft. This has taught him how to save and be conscious of his spending.
4. Teach them the importance of a budget! Only 41% of US households follow a budget. While 65% of Americans have little to nothing saved! My 7-year-old is a master of saving. He sets aside his tithes, a few dollars for spending, and squirrels away the rest!
5. Don’t withhold allowance as punishment! For us, an allowance is a teaching tool, that empowers our children and prepares them for independence. Using it as a disciplinary tool can disrupt the skills we want them to gradually build!
Chore Chart By Age
Here is a list of chores by age that can help you create a chore chart based on your child’s age and stage of development.
2-3 years old
With guidance and supervision, toddlers can complete the following chores:
Put their toys away
Place clothing in the hamper
Wipe up spills
Pile up books and magazines on shelves or tables
Unload the dishwasher (silverware, plastic cups, Tupperware)
Dust with a feather duster or microfiber rag
Collect dirty clothes
Help get clothes from washer to dryer
Make bed (put pillows and blankets on the bed)
Wipe cabinets
4-5 years old
With improved hand-eye coordination preschoolers have the ability to follow more complex instructions and have the ability to remember and follow simple instructions. Adding on to the chores listed above, this age group can help with the following household duties:
Make their bed
Clear the table
Water flowers
Put away clean utensils
Help bring in groceries
Sort laundry into whites and colors
Match socks together
Care for an animal’s food and water dish
Take out recycling
Match socks
Fold dish towels
6-9 years old
Here’s where it gets fun! Children entering this stage of development may begin to show signs of rebellion. 6-9 years of age has been identified as one of the challenging ages to parent. However, with their increased cognitive and physical development along with patience and persistence, your child can continue helping with more complex household chores. Such as:
Sweep floors
Make their own lunch
Pull weeds
Clean their bedrooms
Put away groceries
Load the dishwasher
Vacuum
Wipe down counters and sinks
Help a parent prepare dinner
Make themselves snacks/breakfast
Wipe the table after meals
Fold and put away their laundry
Empty indoor trash bins into the kitchen trash
Wipe bathroom sinks, counters, toilets
Get mail
10- 13 years old
Independence becomes extremely important at this age. Preteens can do many tasks independently and be held responsible for them without constant reminders. Create a chore chart for your child and hold them responsible for completing their daily assigned tasks before leisure time. This will increase feelings of self-reliance and responsibility.
Wash the dishes or load the dishwasher
Wash the family car
Take trash to the bins
Babysit younger siblings with parents at home
Make meals
Take garbage/ recycling to the curb
Wash/ dry clothes
Clean bathrooms
Mop floors
14 years and older
Despite the challenges that come with raising teens, there is a silver lining to having a hormonal teen living under your roof! By this age, high schoolers are able to complete almost any household task. Chores are now assigned for reasons outside of helping the household. They are to help prepare them for independent living. These learned life skills will help make their transition into adulthood a little easier. In addition to the tasks listed above, children over the age of fourteen can complete the following chores:
Clean out the fridge
Help deep clean kitchen
Clean the toilet, sink, and shower in the bathroom
Clean windows
Babysit younger siblings independently
Care for pets
Make more complex meals
Accomplish small shopping trips alone
Iron clothes
Mow yard
Supervise younger sibling’s chores
In order to help your children be successful, capable, independent adults they have to learn life skills. Give your kids the gift of independence! Make a chore chart. Show your kids how & when to do it. Then kick your feet up and enjoy the ‘free’ labor you clearly overpaid for 😂
