My 7-year-old child is very outgoing. While he has big dreams and big capabilities, ⁠he also struggles with the fear of failure. ⁠That fear is seen in his reactions to trying new things, ⁠taking a test over something he recently learned ⁠, or performing in front of groups of people. As his mother, I see all of him. I see the incredible things he can do and how he crawls into his shell when uncertainty fills his mind. ⁠

When that occurs, I reach into my parenting toolbox and use some positive parenting to encourage him to walk into his greatness with confidence. ⁠

Patience – While I may not understand his fear, it’s real to him. Instead of pushing him into the fear. I provide him with patience and empathy. ⁠

Talk him through it – while his fear may be rooted in exaggeration, to him the fear is very real. I talk to him about his fears. Answering all his questions in a loving and patient way. This can encourage him to think and talk through the fear. Helping him understand the where, how or why behind it (Where did it come from, how did the fear develop, why am I fearful)⁠

Give him control – Allowing him to feel in control over his fear can help reduce his feelings of vulnerability. Fear is a typical response to new challenges or experiences. These situations make him feel uncertain, vulnerable, anxious and can take away his sense of security and control.⁠

Encourage and Praise – I acknowledge his feelings surrounding his fear. I never dismiss the fear or the emotions that come along with it. Ensuring him that it’s ok to feel what he feels. Providing him with additional encouragement to work through the fear and praise for making an effort to do so (childmind.org). ⁠

Conquering childhood fears can only happen when we show our children that their success isn’t always dependent on outcomes. Success can happen when they make their best effort and commit to getting better!⁠

It’s natural for kids to experience fear or anxiety. However, sometimes normal feelings of anxiety can morph into something serious. Approximately 4.4 million children aged 3-17 years have been diagnosed with anxiety (CDC.org). Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) causes kids to worry almost every day and over lots of things. Kids with GAD worry over things that most kids worry about, like homework, tests, or making mistakes. But with GAD, kids worry more, and more often, about these things (Kidshealth.org). If you suspect your child’s fears or anxiety are starting to affect their ability to function, contact your local professional for guidance. 

Resources

1.     https://www.cdc.gov/childrensmentalhealth/data.html

2.     https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/anxiety-disorders.html

3.     https://childmind.org/article/help-children-manage-fears/