A sweet heavenly surprise she was. The thought of having another child terrified us but the possibility of a baby girl made us smile and dream of endless tea parties and giggles, tutus, and everything pink. So, we began to make room for this new life God blessed us with. 

 I’ll never forget the morning the doctor called. It was odd, normally the nurse would call with lab results but I sat smiling in my car as she told me she had the results of my lab work. I assumed everything was fine and anxiously waited for her to tell me the gender of our child.

 “It’s a girl!” she said but with a hint of hesitation. I immediately squealed and could feel the first of many tears falling from my eyes. She stopped and said, “there’s something else…”

 I cried. In the parking lot of my son’s daycare, I cried. I’m not sure how long I sat there, every time I would try and stop, they would begin to flow even harder.

My sweet heavenly surprise tested positive for Turner syndrome, a condition that affects only females, results when one of the X chromosomes is missing or partially missing and can cause a number of health issues and physical deformities. 

I was devastated. As I drove home, drowning in my own tears, the earthly comfort I desperately needed could only be received from my mother.

She met me at my home, walked in, kneeled before me, and began to pray. She’s prayed for me my entire life but this prayer was different. What I felt, the fear in my heart, and confusion in my mind were laid before Christ. In a moment when I could not verbalize how I felt. In a moment when I was too weak to go before the alter myself, the Holy Spirit intervened and spoke through my mother on my behalf.  

We claimed healing. Over and over and over and over…

Did we ask for His will to be done? I’m not sure. In that moment and the weeks thereafter, the only thing I could ask God for was healing. 

Miraculous healing. 

Supernatural healing. 

They scheduled me for additional testing. Along with the positive test for Turner Syndrome, there were additional concerns about her size and my placenta. 

 I remember going to church. I just needed comfort. I needed to be in His house, in His presence. I’ve never cried out to Him the way I did that Sunday morning. With arms raised, tear-filled eyes, and a heavy heart I asked God, regardless of the outcome, He uses this little life for His glory. While my soul cried out for mercy, I knew that He had a plan. 

That morning, Pastor Carter preached a sermon called ‘Emmanuel’. Through that sermon, God spoke directly to my spirit. Whispering into my soul, “I am with you”. 

I saw a specialist every week for the duration of my pregnancy.

I FOUGHT A SPIRITUAL BATTLE EVERY WEEK OF MY PREGNANCY. 

I fought day by day against prenatal depression. Some days I won and some days I crawled into the corners of heaven and cried out for God’s reassuring spirit. 

I FOUGHT A SPIRITUAL BATTLE EVERYDAY OF MY PREGNANCY.

As I went into labor, I felt every contraction, every stretch of my body as it prepared to bring life into this world. And I could feel the foundation of hell tremble. It felt what God had whispered into my spirit that one Sunday morning. If God was with me, He was with my little girl and her life had a purpose that even hell feared.  

On June 9, 2016, at 11 am. I held my healthy baby girl, still trembling from the pain, I whispered that same prayer over her that I had prayed every day since she was in my womb, “He is with you and so am I.”

Journey is a physical reminder of my faith in Christ.  In the midst of my despair, the only comfort I had was my faith in a healing God. Papa and I picked the name Journey years before we had her, just in case we ever had a girl. Who knew that the name we so casually picked, years before she was ever placed in my womb, would signify my personal journey of true unwavering faith and hope in Christ.

“I have called you by name. Journey, you are mine.”  - Isaiah 43:1